If it's May, I must be ...

tracking again.

A pattern in the last several years of my life has been to start each May by tracking my food/weight and sometimes activity using myfitnesspal (MFP). Why May? Well, that's when this class starts. That's when summer (as defined by FSU begins). With the fall and spring terms complete, I'm usually ready to find a new pattern for everyday life and hopeful about setting some new habits. This year is no exception. I feel like I've been gaining and losing the same 10 lbs for years. And apparently I have.



I opened myfitnesspal Monday morning and began to log food. I'd prepared for this over the weekend -- cleaned and reorganized the fridge, made meal plans, etc.  In the past, I've fixated on a goal weight (I've not reached it in years) and the short term. I'm not so sure I care about the number on the scale right now so much as I care about how my clothing looks and how I feel. I wan't going to weight myself, but then this morning I caved (in a moment when I felt good about things) and did. I have a benchmark weight -- a high one for me -- from mid-April when I was very sick and went to the doctor. Then morning as I logged in and entered my weight I saw my past logged weights (admittedly intermittent, as has been my use of MFP) since May 2013. It got me thinking ...

Here are some of my weight data points, reported relative to today's weight (because a lady never tells her actual weight), along with commentary (as best I can recall) about what was going on at the time.

Date	Weight  (Relative to May 2018)	Reflections
May 5, 2013	-10.6	Ha! I wanted to lose weight then and now I would be so happy to just be that weight again.
May 15, 2013	-13.8	Meal planning/tracking works for me!
July 23, 2013	-5	I had a medical issue during that time period and clearly gained weight while I couldn't be physically active and probably ate a bunch while wallowing in self-pity.
Aug 15, 2013	-12.6	Back on top of my game again! And then school started and I stopped tracking. (Actually, I think I was still wallowing a bit and once I could wallow and be active ...)
Feb 5, 2014	-1.6	Clearly I spent my fall eating and not working out …
May 14, 2014	-1.6	I wasn’t checking in. I did as this class started. And then I dropped off for a while …
June 20, 2014	-4.6	Back on the bandwagon?
Aug 2, 2014	-11	DEFINITELY back on the bandwagon
Mar 12, 2015	-5	And then the school year happened again?
May 10, 2016	+4.4	OMG yes, the school year happened. Two of them, actually. One check-in in July 2015 suggests I pretty much ignored my weight that summer.
June 4, 2016	+7.6	And kept happening! Eek! Actually I remember starting summer session at an all-time high weight and then heading to Turkey for 2 weeks. I ate my way around the country (oh, the baklava!) and came home horrified with myself.
June 8, 2016	+2.6	It looks like I dropped 5 pounds almost overnight, but I bet June 4 was the day I flew home. I find I always weigh a ton more after long flights (water retention?) and then it settles out a few days later.
Aug 30, 2016	-9.4	Once again, the tracking worked.
Oct 31, 2016	-12.8	My trick to continuing to lose weight / not gain during the school year? Have a hurricane drop 3 trees on my house and displace me. The stress …
May 20, 2017	+3.4	Same old school year story? How can I be gaining and losing like this each year? It’s not a good thing …
July 7, 2017	-2.2	I was trending in the right direction, but apparently gave up. Last weigh in before today. Actually, I started working out regularly last summer and think I decided to just focus on that part of the equation.
Today. May 16, 2017.	-0-

I'm hoping some of you will help hold me accountable this summer (does this count as public self-shaming, posting this info?). I'm not focused on the weight so much as addressing some bad habits ... and I know my running speed would improve and clothing would fit better if I dropped 10 lbs.

My weight is just a data point that lets me see how I'm doing. But I'm pretty sure that tracking and reporting my data is going to help me. And I'm pretty sure that I need to track the data forever more to keep myself on the right path. 

Things I know to be true:

• During summer I have more flexible time and eat at home more (unless traveling).
• During the school year, I often feel like I have no time. I run from meeting to meeting. I drive my kid to various activities. I eat in meetings. I eat on the go. I don't plan meals well. I suggest we eat dinner out and then eat too much.
• When stressed about work, I gravitate toward food. It's a temporary reward for an unhappy person.
• When stressed about personal things, I tend to lose weight. I need to run it off, I need to feel in control of something (and weight is something I can control).
• I like to have a snack before bed every night. A yogurt will suffice, but if I eat nothing I'll wake up after a few hours really hungry.
• When stressed about work or overwhelmed with work, I sleep too little.  
• When I sleep too little, I eat too much. Eating helps me stay awake.
• When stressed about work or overwhelmed with work, I don't work out.
• When I track food intake, I feel guilty if I eat too much. I get really into measuring and tracking. 
• I feel oddly motivated by seeing that I am in control and under/at my daily calorie goals in MFP.

So. May 2018. I'm overwhelmed with work deadlines, but working on new ways to manage that. I'm not traveling for the next 6 weeks. I need to manage food, sleep, and working out. I've actually managed to work out consistently through an entire school year -- this is HUGE for me. I think I currently look better at this weight than I did in 2014. Right now I'm tracking food and working out. I'll add sleep tracking into the mix tonight, I think. Let's see what can be done ...